Episode 6

[dino]

I'd like to start my penalty posting but idk if I have to wait for Bianca so I'll just wait for tmrw or w/e.

I also think I might have to quit soon, especially if Lori last much longer in this game (ie. wins HoH). I wanted to leave personal feelings out of this game and I was doing a great job at that up until now. I'm 17 years old & I'm new to this ~sexuality~ thing, but I thought I was over feeling bad about it atleast, but apparently I was mistaken. A fucking game shouldn't be worth that. I'm hoping this depressed state of mind if merely a result of lack of sleep, which is why I'll be off to bed now.

Good night.

[nikki]

Jul 10, 2011 5:04:16 GMT -4 dino said:

I'd like to start my penalty posting but idk if I have to wait for Bianca so I'll just wait for tmrw or w/e.

I also think I might have to quit soon, especially if Lori last much longer in this game (ie. wins HoH). I wanted to leave personal feelings out of this game and I was doing a great job at that up until now. I'm 17 years old & I'm new to this ~sexuality~ thing, but I thought I was over feeling bad about it atleast, but apparently I was mistaken. A fucking game shouldn't be worth that. I'm hoping this depressed state of mind if merely a result of lack of sleep, which is why I'll be off to bed now.

Good night.

Hey now. Feeling like that is normal, you should not feel bad for being the way you are, you were born that way and there's nothing you can do to change it. There's people in your real life that are going to be this way or worst and you have to be strong about it, trust me, I have horror stories that would make you cringe.

You need to be strong and proove to yourself that you can do this. Ultimately it's up to you but you shouldn't feel bad about this because being gay does not change anything about you are a person, all it changes is who you sleep with [kiss, in your case] and fall in love with, WHICH is a concept that no one would ever see you in unless they sleep with you.

You are a beautiful person and should never let assholes get you down.

~Bianca, sorry if this sounds like influencing the game, I just can't stand aside when it comes to gay-bullying. As an RA and a gay man I sympathize with his position and will always put that before anything. I understand if you need to ban me or give me a warning for speaking up.~

[dino]

Thank you Nikki <3

I think it was just the lack of sleep thing, I feel fine today, especially after reading that, so don't worry you didn't influence at all. The only thing you're influencing is that I think you're amazing for helping me out here. I have a lot of respect for you for this, know that.

But I also have to realize that I have no one to blame but myself, really. I could have [attempted] to take out Lori if I wanted to, and I really think I could have possibly gotten the votes for her to leave, but I agreed with subjecting myself to this, knowing what may have been heading my way. If Lori wants to act this way, I have to remember, this was what I agreed with. I agreed with letting her walk all over me, just to get ahead in the game. It's not her fault we kept her in the game, letting her do this.

And now I'm pretty sure this is gonna backfire, cuz it seems to me that Lori is going to win HoH. If that happens I'll really have to consider what I want to do in this game, and what direction I want to go in next. What's more important to me? Winning a game while degrading myself? Or taking the high road out, allowing myself to lose, while saving my self-respect & dignity?

[dino]

Nah. I'm not gonna give Lori that satisfaction lol. She is honestly a very sad excuse for a person. She's very poorly educated and she is very, very arrogant and ignorant at the same time. It's sad seeing people like that, because they basically live in an alternate universe... I'm seriously thinking Lori has many psychological issues and if she weren't a bitch to me, I would honestly consider telling her she should see a doctor of some sorts. But since she's a cuntrag to me, I can honestly say I hope to see her psychological issues wilt away at her and cause her a downward spiral. ^___^

[dino]

Why is Dan nominated? WHY.

[dino]

Wow. I can't vote this week, right?
So if Billi wins veto, saves Dan... fuck lol.
I'm thinking JJ would go up between him and Jess?
[just thinking guys vs girls in our f4]
Then if JJ went up, Billi/Dan keep Lori.
2-1 JJ would leave. FUCK.

Billi can NOT win. ;_;

[dino]

Well the worst case scenario actually happened. (-_______-) But luckily I spoke to Imogen about it first. She shared the same fears as I did (so glad we've been on the same page, I'm loving this girl.) And I told her if this happened, I HAD to go up. Like, there was no other option if we wanted to save our alliance. Billi saves Lori, and if she put up Jessica/JJ like she was planning on, then I wouldn't have been able to vote, due to penalties, and then Lori/Billi would have had a 2-1 majority to take out whoever they wanted (aka. JJ/Jessica). But I told her to put ME up, so JJ and Jessica could keep me, and she would be able to do so in the tiebreaker situation <333 yay. Hope this works and I'm not blindsided. :\ That would epically suck.

[dino]

PM to Dan;

Good luck.

I just wanted to let you know, when I told Imogen I'd be okay with going up, it was because I thought if Billi used veto, it would be on you, so I would be going up against Lori, instead of you. I wouldn't be able to vote against Lori anyway, so I figured if I can't vote her out, maybe I should be up against her so it wouldn't be completely suckish. ;_; But now I'm against you so FML. Backfire, much?

Good luck regardless. If you stay, kick some ass.

It's completely true, but I still gotta save face for if he's on jury and I'm sitting in the final 2. Buahahaha.

[dino]

Lori Valenti (LoriGotCurves) is available 12:21 am
Online: 1h 58m

Lori Valenti 12:21 am
hi

Dino Delic 12:21 am
hey

Lori Valenti 12:22 am
so you really have jj/billi/jessica all behind you?

Dino Delic 12:23 am
I haven't spoken to JJ in so long. :-\ Jessica has been acting weird lately. And Billi used veto on you which idk who would have called that lol, so at this point I don't even know
I thought he'd save Dan if anyone

Lori Valenti 12:24 am
but something is off, imogen posted you volunteered

Dino Delic 12:24 am
i thought i was gonna be against you lol

Lori Valenti 12:24 am
oooh so i was right

Dino Delic 12:24 am
if i couldnt vote you out, id like to atleast be against you <3
haha
yeah

Lori Valenti 12:25 am
so basically if you win hoh next week then im up again

Dino Delic 12:25 am
yeah i guess. i mean you cant take back what you said, and neither can i

Lori Valenti 12:25 am
ok well at least your honest, i respect that

Dino Delic 12:26 am
thank you lol

Lori Valenti 12:26 am
so is it safe to say you'd put me up, you'd vote me out and i won't have your jury vote in the miracle i end in f2

Dino Delic 12:26 am
i wasnt trying to be dishonest before, really. i liked you personally a lot and didnt want to hurt your feelings
um yes for the first two i would think

Lori Valenti 12:26 am
the thing is, i felt so betrayed by you

Dino Delic 12:26 am
but if you made final 2, you'd have to have done something right so i wouldnt say that i wouldnt vote for you

Lori Valenti 12:26 am
thats why i snapped
i felt stabbed in the back

Dino Delic 12:27 am
yeah i understand that

Lori Valenti 12:27 am
we talked all nice next thing you know im up

Dino Delic 12:27 am
i just felt like you would have done the same thing but i dont even know to be honest.
i shoulda talked to you first

Lori Valenti 12:27 am
nah you were never going up
in my head im like you are a good competitor i need to be w/ someone like you
i suck at challenges
was i gonna ride your coattails? honestly, yes

Lori Valenti 12:28 am
but i was never going to screw you

Dino Delic 12:28 am
lol clearly you dont, you did well in the endurance, and you almost won veto =-O

Lori Valenti 12:28 am
meh, close doesnt get you anywhere

Dino Delic 12:28 am
billi winning does apparently ;-)
lol

Lori Valenti 12:29 am
i was shocked
i thought you were all against me
the only ONE person who i figured i may get to come with me was dan
and u had him up
dan was the only person i never attacked
everyone else got attacked either by PM, IM or on the board

Dino Delic 12:29 am
thats the thing, i didnt even expect dan to be nominated against you lol

Dino Delic 12:30 am
i thought it was gonna be billi cuz hes a beast
which obviously if it was billi maybe it would actually be you vs me in an epic nomination spot
:-P
i think billi's just hella unpredictable
probably figured as long as you're around, he would be safe

Lori Valenti 12:31 am
idk i wish everyone thinks life that
lol

Dino Delic 12:31 am
hahaha

Dino Delic 12:32 am
I was kinda thinking that way, honestly at the beginning of this week

Lori Valenti 12:33 am
thinking what way

Dino Delic 12:33 am
cuz i mean sure you said a lot of personal stuff, but this is a game and thinking strategically you didnt HAVE to go right away.
cuz you're not the best at challenges, you said it yourself

Lori Valenti 12:33 am
yeah i suck

Dino Delic 12:33 am
dan actually surprised me, too. i expected billi to kick ass in challenges
but dan almost won, too!

Lori Valenti 12:34 am
yeah im just thankful to still be here

[dino]

Awkward convo with Lori. But it was nice. I'm glad we could talk completely rationally and straight forward with no BS.